Pregnancy Blues…

RJ and I headed down to Sacramento last Friday for a quick getaway. He won tickets from work for a Sacramento King’s game, and we got to sit in box seats (with our bosses, though it was still fun!) and eat a ton of free food. I ate enough food to last a week for a normal person, but I have absolutely no regrets. We had a blast.

Now that we’re back home and getting back into the normal swing of things, there have been a few pregnancy-related feelings that have been getting me down lately. I’m totally enjoying my second trimester but with a few exceptions: the bigness and the back pain.

I’ve been feeling really down about my body despite feeling like some sort of life-giving goddess. This is mostly because almost none of my clothes fit anymore. We took advantage of our Sacramento trip to splurge a little bit on some clothes for me… and by splurge, I mean I got one shirt and a pair of pregnancy pants. But even something small like that makes me feel so much better. Clothes that fit make all the difference in your self esteem! 

On a more physical note, my back pain has been getting worse. Ick. My wonderful nurse who visits us at our apartment gave me a few pointers on how to ease it, and I tried them out today. I actually feel a lot better! Little things like putting my legs up on my desk while I study (looks super silly, by the way) and getting up to walk ever hour or so of sitting have really helped. 

I’ve definitely been hunched over the books more than usual lately, and a lot of that has to do with the goals I’ve been setting for myself. I really want to improve my grades, and with that requires great effort. And so I’ve been fighting through the pain and trying to do everything I can to make sure I end this semester as a success. It’s actually been working so far! But a few nights ago, when I sat down in the library to spend a few good hours poring over my Geography homework, the pain in my back made concentration practically impossible. Hopefully, though, that will change.

Speaking of Geography, I have officially converted majors! If you know me, this is either really shocking or really unsurprising. I’ll go more into detail next time I post. 

When I think about all the work I’ve been doing lately, I realize that I haven’t had any time for me. What I mean is, I don’t have what people consider “me” time–relaxing, reading a book, sitting around playing games, things like that. It’s been nonstop work-a-holic mode. But somehow, I’ve been a lot happier lately. I’ve been setting goals and meeting them. I’ve been accomplishing things. And I think that’s what makes the biggest difference. Before I had a lot of time just lounging around, but my grades were struggling and I felt like I wasn’t getting anything ton. I had tons of “me” time, though. But that time means nothing if it’s not well earned, right? And I’m looking forward to some well-earned “me” time at the end of this semester.

Long story short, I feel good.

– Amber

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